本帖最后由 ibuprofen 于 2012-4-3 00:49 编辑
pancakes 发表于 2012-4-1 00:18 static/image/common/back.gif
哈哈,我只是個外行人,翻譯理論甚麼的一無所知
當初大著膽子翻譯,純粹自娛自樂,想不到會推廣了fanfic n ...
饼桑的认真回复让我受益匪浅呢!!{:4_363:}
其实我也是对翻译理论一无所知,因为看到饼桑的翻译文发现原文是英文,就萌生了“我也来翻译看看的想法”
然后,翻译的过程中有偷懒,有些不太确定的词懒得查就直接凭感觉意译过去了……{:4_368:}
当然啦,因为水平有限,有些地方考虑不周或是有遗漏总是在所难免,谢谢饼桑的指正~~
先说How Could This Happen:
>> 梓嗫嚅道,"也许我应该伪装一下 (Azusa whined. "Maybe I should start wearing a mask)
这一句确实是我的问题,或者whined应该翻译成“发牢骚”。至于wearing a mask总觉得直译成带上面具欠妥,想了一阵又找不到好词代替只想到“伪装”{:4_334:}
那个一周两周确实是疏漏了,已改正~{:4_386:}
>> 梓轻轻摇头,算是从律前辈那里学个教训 (Azusa said offhandedly, earning a grin from Ritsu)
>> 金发少女从眼前晃过,向着律的方向去了,似乎是想要鼓励律振作起来。(The blond waved at Azusa before going back to trying to cheer Ritsu up)
>> “唔……要先练习一下吗?”眼看事态向着激化的方向发展,梓努力的想要转换话题。 ("Uh…who wants to practice?" She quickly attempted to change the subject before the inevitable strike to the head from her best friend.)
>> 紬的眉头微微皱起,“唯,不想先吃点点心吗?” (Mugi frowned. "You don't want to eat cake first?" She asked curiously.)
>> 练习之后的点心会更好吃的,是吧,紬?小梓?(I bet it'll taste better after we play, right Mio? Azusa-chan?)
>> 现在回头想想,她的眼神不像是在戏弄我。( Now that I think about it, she didn't tackle me the moment she saw me.)
>> 当其余4人开始谈论新学期时,梓才算是从一片混乱中回过神。 (Azusa tuned the others out as they started talking about the new semester)
>> 梓不知道这个时候该怎么办,索性移开目光 (She didn't know whether to be embarrassed or to just roll her eyes)
以上均是我的疏忽,可能翻得时候看得太快,没有仔细去看句子结构导致理解错误和笔误,已改正
>> 梓从书包里拿出一个本子 (Azusa pulled a folder out of her bag)
是说folder我也觉得是文件夹呢,但是随身带文件夹好奇怪{:4_334:}
所以就意译成比较常见的本子一类的东西了~
>> 如果忧知道了这件事,一定会和自己绝交 (she would surely hold a grudge against her)
这一句是我的私心啦~有故意夸大的成分~因为若是直接翻译成嫌恶感觉程度不够,而且一时之间找不到使语句通顺的表达方法,所以才选了一个口语化的“绝交”一词~
毕竟小女孩的绝交,总是合合分分,分分合合的嘛~{:4_382:}
>> 心爱的喵 (Lover-nyan)
真想说,终于有人发现了!!{:4_390:}
我在翻这一句时犹豫了很久,到底怎么翻才好!正如饼桑所说,“心爱的喵”感觉程度不够,但是如何看起通顺而又感情强烈确实是没有想到
除了“心爱的喵”,“我的爱喵”,我还想过“情人喵”“恋人喵”“爱人喵”……{:4_334:}
但都感觉过于直白,且不够通顺,若是有更好的翻译就好了~
昨天kk桑给我建议说译成“最爱的喵喵”,想了一下,觉得干脆译成“最爱的喵”,似乎会比之前的好点?{:4_368:}
再说Does it still hurt?:
>> 唯倒是有好好的打电话,问梓是不是还在睡觉 (She had then called the junior, who was still asleep)
>> 而在一个半小时前 (Half an hour ago)
>> 她再次看向唯,但是似乎改变主意,要将吉他留下来 (She eyed Yui again, but she seemed determined to keep Gitah put)
>> 而年纪稍大的女孩有点不情愿的慢慢从心爱的吉他边挪开 (The senior gladly removed herself from her beloved guitar)
>> 梓的肩膀微微下垂,试图把弹起的琴弦重新收拾平整 (she dropped her shoulders, letting the string bounce back again)
>> 不敢相信的梓再次拿起琴弦,将唯推开 (Her own hands wrapped around the string, pushing Yui's off)
>> 唯轻咬住梓的手指 (Continuing to run her tongue along the tip Yui set her teeth into her finger and grinned)
以上均是我半夜翻文眼花的过错……{:4_353:}
是说这一篇是在晚上11:40左右选好的文,开始翻译,大概翻到1:40
两个小时又是晚上,难免急于求成,错漏的地方真的很多,感谢饼桑指正!
能有饼桑如此认真的指正,我可是非常非常的荣幸哟!{:4_374:}
再次感谢!!